Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas and happy holidays from our little family to yours! This holiday season, may you enjoy the greatest gift of all - the gift of love and family!

On Christmas Eve, Santa personally came to visit Arabella. She was a little skeptical at first, because he sounded awfully familiar 😄

"You've been a very brave and strong girl this year", said Santa. "Your entire family is so proud of you!"

She had a big smile on her face. And before he left, Santa dropped off lots of presents under the tree!

For mom and dad, Santa had already delivered their present a long time ago. Here's that wonderful present again in the Santa sack 😁

We've been loving this present all year long...

Much like these Christmas lights, Arabella shines and lights up our world.

The faces she makes sometimes are absolutely priceless. 

I can't imagine a better gift this year. Mom and dad are truly grateful for all the blessings they've received.  

And best of all, we had a lot of snow here in the Greater Toronto Area. It's going to be a white Christmas! 

A white Christmas, just like the ones we used to know...

So from our family to yours, may your days be merry and bright...and may all your Christmases be white!

Happy 10 months

Arabella's excited to have turned 10 months old! We're into double-digit territory, baby!

She's certainly a happy little elf, isn't she? And Christmas is just around the corner...

She's the only present Kiera and I asked for this year...

And boy, did Santa deliver!

This is one package that was handled with extra love and care. Express shipped direct to our hearts! 💗

There's a whole lot of Christmas cheer at our house this year. And it's easy to see why...

It really is the most wonderful time of the year!

Happy 10 months Arabella!

Back to work for dad

Last week dad went back to work. Almost 10 months after Arabella's birth. It's hard to imagine that it's been so long. 

It was a pretty smooth transition, though. It felt like I was back at work after a very long, long, long weekend 😄. I received a warm welcome back, and funny enough, it was the week of many Christmas parties and team events. Needless to say, not a lot of work got done! 

It's the absolute perfect time to go back to work. Everyone is in a great mood, the holidays are almost here, and people are filled with the Christmas spirit as they look forward to taking time off from work. 

"When are you coming home, dadda?" reads a text message from mom. "Catching the 3:43 train", I reply. 

Usually I'm home around 4:30pm, and I can't wait to get through the door so I can kiss and hold Arabella. It's the best part of my day. 

Leaving work early means getting up early, though, so that I can be at work a little after 7am. 

It means getting up at 5am, eating a quick breakfast, warming up Bella's food, and running her feed while she sleeps (via the gravity bag). Then I get myself ready as her milk slowly drips into her tummy. 

Kiera, on the other hand, has to help by taking care of the 11:30pm and 2:30am feeds - which can be very tiring since the feeds themselves can go for 45 minutes sometimes. It doesn't leave her much time for quality sleep in between, but it's the best we can do for now. Eventually we'll be able to take out the 2:30am feed, and that will mean a better night's rest for mom. 

It's not easy being away from Belle during the day, but it's really not as bad as I imagined. After 6 months of hospital stays, and 4 months of being at home with her every day, I'm obviously very attached. But knowing that Kiera's home with her puts my mind at ease. Besides, it was about time to get back to "normal".

Back to reality...

When I really think about it, I'm lucky to have gotten so much extra time away from work. I was able to focus better, support my wife during an emotional roller-coaster, and be there for my little girl when it mattered most. How many fathers out there get to have as much time as I did? 

I couldn't fathom not being there for my family. And during Belle's hospital stay I noticed just how many moms were doing it by themselves, going through it alone. People are faced with different circumstances, we realized, and not everyone has the kind of support system that we do. 

Here's Arabella enjoying the big bath. She has so much fun kicking and splashing the water. 

Arabella's slowly growing up and becoming more aware of everything around her. She knows what she likes, and what she dislikes. For the most part she's calm and quiet, and rarely has moments of fussiness. 

She smiles constantly, makes faces, and loves eye-contact and attention. If she's acting out, all she needs is someone to pick her up and hold her. She's instantly back to being calm. She's an absolute darling, and both Kiera and I are over the moon for her. She's the best 💗

Christmas countdown & feeding clinic

We're quickly approaching December, and mom and Belle are definitely in the Christmas spirit. 

This is going to be Arabella's first Christmas, and it's going to be one to remember. You can count on it! The countdown is officially on...

Unfortunately, we're not going to take Belle out for any visits during the holidays. We decided not to take any unnecessary risks this winter - so we'll just have to make sure to have a holly-jolly time at home.

We have a ton of fun at home, as you can see 😊

So many people have gotten sick around us lately, so we're constantly being extra cautious. When we see our pediatrician, for example, we avoid the crowded elevator and take the stairs. We have Bella wrapped up and covered until we're finally in the patient room (which is usually waiting for us as soon as we arrive). We're away from potentially sick patients, and that gives us some peace of mind. 

We're also avoiding trips with Belle to the chiropractor for that very same reason, but the good news is that the chiropractor now comes to us! Home visits are the best!

Here she was at her last chiro visit...

Being a brave and strong girl! She got another scan that showed that her spine was much more aligned compared to the first time we took her. We're making progress!

Hopefully we can make it through this winter, but it's not going to be easy. 

Bella already received her first shot to protect her against the Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV), so at least she's covered in that way. Those were the costly $1000+ shots that only the most fragile kids get covered for. Again, it's peace of mind, and everyone we talked to said it was absolutely necessary. RSV shots save lives, apparently. 

Here's Belle at yet another feeding clinic, this time at North York General Hospital. We were really pleased with the staff because they offer a slow and simple approach. 

And Arabella was showing a lot of good early signs...

It's all about 'going back to the basics' - no bottle feeding, no force feeding at all. Arabella is in complete control over what goes into her mouth, and the idea is to reconnect that pleasure drive associated with feeding by mouth. 

And here we are at home, practicing with these so-called 'hard munchable foods'. Since Arabella is now reaching and grasping at objects (and bringing them to her mouth), she's ready to explore these types of foods. And since the food is hard to break down, it's a perfect time to encourage her to bite down, move her tongue, and help her become aware of different tastes, textures, and sensations. 

These important early steps will help develop chewing skills needed to handle different textures and foods later on. 

So 3 times a day we place her in her highchair and let her explore these munchies. We place them on the tray and allow her to reach for herself. 

Sometimes she just wants to play with the food. Sometimes she doesn't really care for it at all. And that's totally alright. It's hard to always be in the mood for munchies.

Eventually we'll move on to 'meltable hard solids' such as dry thick toast. As the toast becomes wet (and melts with her saliva) the texture will change gradually. It's another sensation in the mouth, and it will help her get used to how different foods feel in her mouth and what she needs to do to break it down, chew, and liquefy it for swallow.

Since she still associates pain or discomfort with her feeds, it's going to take a long time to undo the refusal behaviours. So everyday we do things like massage her gums (while singing to her) so that she starts to make positive connections again.

Given her reflux (and all the gagging and throwing up that she does during the day), I'm surprised that she puts so many things into her mouth. So we need to take advantage of this time and see if we can help her make some positive connections again. 

It's been a long and uphill climb, but we're on the right track now I think. Lucky for us, things should only continue to get better...

Here's hoping!

Happy 9 months & World Prematurity Day!

On November 17th we celebrated 9 incredible months of this tiny Tinkerbell. Woo hoo!!!

Nothing cheers me up more than seeing that precious smile. It's like heaven on earth 😁

November 17th also happened to be World Prematurity Day. It's observed on this day each year to bring awareness to preterm birth. The objective is to spread the word, better understand how to care for premature babies, strengthen health care services for high risk pregnancies and premature babies, and to stimulate new avenues of research in preterm birth.

Buildings and landmarks shine purple in honour of the 1 in 10 babies born too soon around the globe. 

I scroll through the various comments and posts on the WPD facebook page...and I get sucked in. I begin to realize just how many families have endured a similar journey. 

One mom sums it up rather perfectly, "Prematurity is both my sons. It's having your newborn whisked away after delivery and longing to cuddle them. It's meeting your baby at a distance through a plastic crib. It's tubes and wires and beeping monitors. It's trying to navigate a world of fear and tears and fighting. It's going against every fiber of your being and walking out of a hospital without a part of you. It's long days that become weeks and months back and forth to the hospital. It's celebrating tiny milestones and defying the odds. It's becoming part of a club you never imagined yourself in. And it's loving your baby more deeply and more fiercely than you ever could have imagined possible."

Another mom's comment makes it clear that not every story is quite so glorious as Arabella's.

She writes, "It's a reminder of my first born angel Joseph born at 27 weeks and lived for two days and his angel twin brothers Anthony and John who were born at 26 weeks and lived for one and two days. In my heart forever."

That's when I start to get a little choked up... 😢

It's a miracle that Arabella is alive today. There's no other way to put it. 

She was born one day shy of 28 weeks gestation, but her weight and development was comparable to a baby of 23 weeks (at 23 weeks, the survival rate is roughly 50/50).

And before Arabella made it to 1 pound, her odds of survival were calculated around 5-10% (we were told). It's the reason why doctors were preparing us for the worst, and it's why we're so overjoyed today. Arabella defied the odds, and at times we forget just how amazing she really is. She's fierce, she's a real fighter, and we owe it to her to celebrate her heart and grit.

It's easy to forget about everything she's been through. We're always trying to move on and leave the past behind us. But every once in a while you're hit with the cold, harsh reality...

That darkness was just around the corner. We were right there, in the upside-down world 😕. We walked in the shadows, we felt the uncomfortable chill, and somehow we managed to find our way out of there.

World Prematirity Day makes me realize that we shouldn't forget about where we came from. We shouldn't try to hide from it or repress it. We must embrace it. 

The tears, the panic, the endless prayers, the sleepless nights, the help we received along the way...all of the good and bad that came with prematurity. 

It's all part of this great and unique story. 

So whether it's World Prematurity Day, an image of a baby in an incubator, a nurse wearing scrubs, or a new show on TV (like the Hodges Half Dozen) - I'm constantly reminded of where we came from. 

We're all part of this beautiful and amazing club 😊

Happy 9 months Arabella, and happy World Prematurity Day!