Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Happy Halloween


One pumpkin inside another 😄. But which one do you think weighs more? Belle is 11.5 pounds at the moment...and the pumpkin weighs over 18! 


Kiera and I couldn't stop laughing as we snapped these photos. And Arabella was such a good sport, too. She didn't cry or grimace once. 

So what is Arabella's Halloween costume this year, you ask? 


Supergirl! She's our superhero daughter, so it's only fitting that she wears the 'S' on her chest. She deserves it. After everything she's been through, she's definitely the perfect candidate 😊


"Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Supergirl!"


Even the dreaded 'tummy time' is no match for her! 😂


And here she is showing off her super teether...


She does a great job of managing it by herself!



Everyone is so very proud of you Supergirl. You're more amazing than you know!

Wishing everyone a safe and happy Halloween!

Monday, October 30, 2017

Picture day: October 19 - 30


People say that babyhood goes by too fast...


So everyday I do my best to cherish these moments. I pinch myself, because I know that they won't last forever.



Arabella changes so much from month to month. I only notice the changes when I look at her older photos or videos. Even two weeks makes a big difference sometimes. 


As tired and exhausted as we are these days, I really think these are the absolute best days of our lives. There's no question. 


Spending time with Belle is like heaven on earth, and we make a point to never take it for granted. 

Everyday we remind ourselves that we're looking into the eyes of a miracle 😍


She's such a fantastic model. And she knows just how to pose for mom and dad, too 😊



I love her big ears. I love her toothless smile. There's nothing that I don't love about her - and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her, either.



I never knew that a love for a child could run so deep. It's more intense than any kind of love I've ever felt. It's a love that's extraordinarily blissful, and somewhat frightening at the same time.



As parents, we're affected by every single struggle that faces our child. Her problems are our problems. 

But there's also a point where parents have to let go, too. It's for our own mental health, because we can't possibly control everything. And overwhelming yourself won't necessarily do you, or your child any good.

These are just one of the lessons we're learning.


I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's easy for parents to get lost in all the potential issues that face our children. 



In our case, Arabella's eating issues take a toll on us sometimes. And as much as we'd like to completely shut-off the worries, it's almost impossible.

Unfortunately, Belle hasn't been growing very well since September, and it's looking like she'll eventually require a gastrostomy tube, also known as a "g-tube" (a tube inserted through the abdomen that delivers nutrition directly to the stomach).


That's as far as she'll let you go...and she'll only chew on the nipple, at best. 

Arabella wants nothing to do with food or eating, and everything we try continues to fail. 

Belle's been throwing up a lot more over the last few months too, so we've had to feed her lots of mini-meals during the day (in hopes that she can digest the smaller portions faster). 

Her reflux has hit an all-time high...


Night-time feeds are continuing to be a big challenge for us, but we try to remain up-beat and positive. After all, we have a lot to celebrate, don't we?


I laugh every time I look at this picture. Belle did NOT enjoy her first time on the swing. Her face is absolutely priceless.


I'm pretty sure she liked the slide, though 😁


Through thick and thin, I love our little family. There's nothing we can't possibly overcome...


And although we sometimes face turbulent moments, we'll always look back at this time and say, "Man, those were the good old days, weren't they?"


These are the people and moments I live for...and I thank God for them every single day 💗

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Happy 8 months


On October 17th we celebrated 8 months of Arabella. 8 whole months! Kiera and I almost can't believe it. Where does the time go?


Now we can say that Belle's 5 months old (corrected). And exactly 5 months ago (in May, around the time of her initial due date) she was merely a tiny caterpillar, wrapped inside a cocoon. 



At that time we said that Belle was working on a transformation, a metamorphosis of sorts...


She barely had any hair...


She was still a tiny thing (at around 3.5 pounds)...



She had a hard time coming off air pressure support...



And she was dealing with very different challenges on her road to recovery...


But we knew that one day she would transform into the butterfly she was always destined to become...


And now we're thrilled to be watching this beautiful butterfly soar...


Happy 8 months Arabella! 💗

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Videos from October

It's been a while since I posted a video, so here are a few from this month! 😊





Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Feeding woes


It's easy to fall in love with fall, isn't it? What a great time of year. And the colours become even more vibrant as we get deeper into October. I especially love the sound of dry leaves crunching under one's feet. So satisfying 😁




Last week we went to see the pediatrician and we discussed our ongoing feeding problem. Sadly, we're running out of options with Arabella, and it seems that the longer we tube-feed her, the worse things are going to get.



The doctor recommended we try a specific combination of meds this time - 'prevacid' along with 'domperidone'. When used together they can sometimes make a dramatic difference. 

Domperidone improves symptoms of nausea, vomiting, bloating, and feelings of fullness. The idea is that Belle's stomach will empty more quickly, she'll feel better, and maybe she'll be more likely to take a bottle. The drugs are insanely expensive, though, but we're going to give them a shot for a few weeks to see if they help (even a little bit). If they don't, we'll kick them to the curb. This is our last attempt to see if drugs are the answer (and I highly doubt it!).



Last week it was time to give Arabella a new feeding tube (we change it every 3 weeks or so). Kiera and I decided that it was the perfect opportunity for us to do a little experiment. We removed the tube for the entire afternoon to see if Belle would be more willing to take a bottle. "Maybe the tube is bothering her, and that's a big reason why she won't eat?", we thought to ourselves. 


We've been wondering about that for a while. There's no doubt that the tube gives her a lot of discomfort. It makes her cough, wretch and gag. But unfortunately, we didn't notice a change in regards to bottle-feeding. Arabella missed a few meals and it looked like she was definitely hungry, but she still refused the bottle.



We'd be interested to see how she would do over a few days without the feeding tube, but that would require us to go to a hospital. We would have to hook her up to an IV so that she wouldn't get dehydrated. She'd likely miss a lot of meals before we'd see any kind of progress. And even then there are no guarantees. 

Ultimately, change won't happen over a few days or even weeks. That's what I've come to realize. Change might take months and months of hard work.



Her bib says "Purr-fect time for dessert" 😊

We've been slowly introducing Belle to solids. Things like mashed bananas, apple sauce, sweet potato...




Her face says it all 😂


She doesn't seem interested in any kind of food, and she ends up refusing the spoon and getting agitated if you push her too hard. We have to work on things very slowly and carefully, so that we don't make matters worse. 



For every meal (during the day) we attempt to give Arabella the bottle...we try, and try, and try some more. 




And each time we're shot down. 


Sometimes it's discouraging for us as parents. Sometimes we feel like we've failed, even though we know that it's out of our control. 

It's daunting to think that we're going to be faced with this challenge for years and years to come (potentially). Feeding aversions are a complex issue that require a lot of work, patience and professional therapy. 

And we've only just begun...



Working on feeds well into the future is going to be an emotional journey. It already is. But we do our best to remain hopeful. It's all we can do. 


In the end, we know that this is a small price to pay, given all the hurdles Arabella's jumped over in the past. 



That's the bottom line, I suppose. We're so fortunate to be dealing with issues like this. And we know we'll all get through it - because we've been through much worse. 




In the long run, we hope to get Belle off the acid-blocking drugs, but it might take some more time. Currently her reflux is a big problem, and there's a danger that the acid in her stomach would burn her esophagus and cause major inflammation in her lungs (when she throws up and some of the aspirates spill over). That's the reason we've kept her on the drugs, even through we're very much against them. 


We've had to pick our battles very carefully...



We've even started to see a naturopath. She recommended we try things like 'chamomilla' and 'slippery elm' to help get Arabella's body and digestive system back in order. She also suggested that we take her to a chiropractor, too. The nervous system can have an effect on all of this as well.



We're trying everything at this point. We're being open-minded and researching as much as we can. Luckily there's a ton of support and information out there.

We're going to get through this! Like the old saying goes, "One day at a time" 😉