Barefoot in the sand

Feeling stuck, Bella?

As the pandemic continues, I bet most of us are feeling the same way.

The summer was solemn. Quiet. Reflective. We made the best of it, of course, but it wasn't the summer anyone was hoping for. Typically the summer months are a chance for Kiera and I to finally forget about colds, the flu, and other such things that keep us anxious regarding Bella's health. The summer is our big chance to let down our guard.

We socially-distance every winter (regardless of Covid-19), and this spring and summer was basically an extension of our winter routine (but with even more restrictions).

Limited visits to see family, only outdoor hangouts, and no physical contact. No hand-holding, no hugs or kisses from Bella's grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins. It was a real shame, and it had a profound impact on all of us, whether we realized it or not.

Love from a distance can be unbearable and heartbreaking, and unfortunately a lot of families found themselves in similar situations.

Besides that, everything felt so strange this summer. The masks. The rules. The distancing. The way people interacted with one another. The overall uncertainty that followed you with every passing day.

Learning to accept and adapt to this new reality was the biggest obstacle everyone faced.

Some days would offer the perfect distraction. An activity. A trip. A temporary thrill. You'd forget about the craziness of the world by getting swept up in some fun. Those were great days, of course.

But in spite of those good days, the very next day could turn out to be the complete opposite. You could be swallowed into hopelessness, and you wouldn't even know why or how.

The emotional ups and downs were draining. They were a huge test of mental strength and spiritual resilience. We had no choice but to grind it out, much like the rest of the world.

Arabella loves the Toronto zoo. It's our favourite place to hang out. So when it opened up again in July we were excited to head back and experience all of the wonderful things we missed.

It was was fun, but it wasn't quite the same, you know?

Barricades, one-way paths, closed attractions, sanitizing stations - we were constantly reminded that things were far from normal. It was like that almost everywhere you went.

We needed more distractions...

So that's exactly what we did.

We went everywhere we could just to get lost in some fun.

Petting zoos, for instance.

Bella was obsessed with donkeys this summer. She just had to bring her donkey figurine to show the real donkey.

We hit the local beaches.

Bella got her first taste of yoga, and loved holding poses with mom.

Lots of car naps.

Plenty of activities at home.

Spaghetti faces 😁. Bella started to enjoy eating a little more this summer, which was a pleasant surprise to us.

Playtime at the local parks.

Lots of nature hikes.

Lots and lots and LOTS of nature hikes!

Best of all, towards the end of August we got a chance to go on a week-long cottage vacation up north. It's the same cottage we always visit every year (usually with Bella's grandparents). Due to the pandemic, however, it was only the three of us this year.

Even though we were by ourselves, we had a great time. It was just what we needed. This is where we really broke away from the world. An opportunity to unwind and re-calibrate.

So we did what we do best. We got lost in the activities.

We got lost in the sand.

The vast wilderness.

Got lost in one another.

We made a ton of great memories.

And made some new friends too.

We disconnected from the outside world and got a chance to look deep within ourselves.

It wasn't the summer anyone was hoping for, but it had it's share of wonderful moments. Most importantly, we all stuck together and made the best of a strange and sometimes difficult time.

I'll leave this post with a short video of the view from the cottage shoreline. I'll be dreaming about that view until next summer, where hopefully we can see it once again.

 

Summertime sadness

Hey, do you want to go on a bike ride?

Five minutes later we're on the trails. Kicking up dust. Bella always enjoys a change of scenery. And so do I.

This summer was all about local adventures and quick getaways. Bike rides were an everyday occurrence for us, and it was usually reserved for daddy-daughter time.

Ah, yes. Just the two of us.

We had a lot of fun going from place to place, trail to trail, pond to pond. We kept things moving. We were constantly changing our surroundings (since there wasn't much to do anyway), and it kept us both entertained.

Oh, we had a blast!

It was my time to bond with my daughter, and Mom got a chance to do some things on her own. After all, Mom is constantly with Arabella while Dad is working. 

I love my one-on-one time with this girl. 

We would be out for hours. Searching for turtles. Marvelling at the colourful sunsets. Watching the trees bend and shake in the wind. Throwing rocks into streams. Feeling alive and energized by nature. 

Just breathing it in.

Those moments meant everything to me during a summer that was quite challenging in so many ways.

This wasn't the kind of summer anyone had expected. I felt frustrated, disconnected, anxious, uncertain and emotionally worn out. 

I felt stuck and completely out of sorts.

This pandemic has taken a huge toll on my mental health.

I spent a lot of time reflecting on my outlook and attitude. Why do I focus my energy on things that are out of my control? Why do I pay so much attention to the things that I lack?

When I noticed the things I was missing it only reinforced and perpetuated negative feelings. Suddenly I found myself caught in a downward spiral, and it become more and more difficult to get out. I was drowning in negative thoughts.

So what's the cure for summertime sadness?

Gratitude. Thankfulness. Counting one's blessings as they unfold each day. Rejecting negativity. By doing that you actively change your perception of reality.

So that's what I'm working on. Being grateful.

I did a little digging on the subject. Turns out that gratitude is a natural anti-depressant. You see, when you practice gratitude you activate the "feel good" neurotransmitter dopamine - and those chemical powers reward the reinforcement of patterns. Therefore, the repetition of thankfulness brings on more of the same good emotion. 

That's how you can change your reality. That's how you change your perspective. 

Gratitude is a state of mind, an insistence on a certain perspective that affirms the good things in life while rejecting the bad ones.

Currently two members of our extended family are battling cancer. They're fighting the biggest fight of their lives. How do they cope? What gives them the strength to face each day?

And what am I complaining about, anyway? 

"Wake up!" I tell myself. "Wake up!"

Look up at the trees, the sky, the sun. Look what a blessing this day is. 

It's very difficult to attract more good in your life if you are busy meditating on what you don't have.

Count your blessings daily.

I have my eyes to see, my lungs to breathe. Every organ in my body is working, pumping blood to my heart and brain. I'm grateful for my books to read, my skills and talents, the roof over my head, my wonderful family, friends, my wife, daughter, and every human that has ever loved me and whom I ever loved. 

That's what it takes. And suddenly, things don't seem so troublesome anymore.