Due date

Arabella seemed tired and spent. She was definitely less active than usual. She had a few dips in her heart rate, but they mostly happened during her feed (which is apparently quite normal). Hopefully it's nothing to worry about. 

The staff assured us that Belle is good and fine. We might just be over-sensitive parents some days 😟

The respiratory therapists have slowly began to drop Arabella's pressures and volume of air coming from the mask. They're challenging her more with the settings, so perhaps that's why she looked more drained to us today. She might just be working a little bit harder. 

Mommy got to hold her this evening. Both of these girls needed one another tonight 💗

Arabella's due date was initially on this day, May 13th. Around this time Belle would have been a full-term, 40 week baby in the womb. 

Kiera had a difficult time today. The guilt and self-blame that preemie moms face is definitely real. 

Tomorrow is also Mother's Day. It's another bittersweet reminder of everything that is, was, and could (or could not) have been. 

It's hard to explain. 

The ups-and-downs of this journey can be exhausting. I witness it and often experience it myself. The emotions can come in waves and at different moments, for various reasons, and sometimes without any warning. 

The best thing we can do is to talk about all of these mixed feelings. I'm glad Kiera shares her hopes and fears with me. We're here for each other, and you guys are all collectively here for us 💜