Back on the mask

Arabella went back on the CPAP mask today 😃

We were quite surprised that the staff put her back so soon, but they assured us that Belle was ready. 

The blood cultures came back negative, and a swab revealed that she doesn't have a cold. X-rays on her lungs showed that they were in better shape compared to days ago. She's had more time to heal and recover from surgery. For all of those reasons, it was about time that Arabella gave it another shot. 

Could this be the day that she finally moves on and never looks back to the pesky vent?

It's common for preemies to go back and forth for a while, but eventually they break through. As long as they don't have any infections, or anything else that might hinder their progress. 

Let's see how she does!

We'll be a little worried for the next few days, watching for any major dips in her blood oxygen or heart rate, but if Bella stays strong and pushes past the ventilator her lungs will be able to heal and recover much sooner.

The silver lining of Belle's chronic lung disease is that the lungs can regenerate. New tissue will grow over time, which replaces the scarred lung tissue. 

It's very possible that Arabella will need extra oxygen for several more months. She may even be discharged with an oxygen tank to take home. During the first few years of her life she may have more bouts of wheezing, shortness of breath, and may be susceptible to pneumonia if she catches a cold. Problems like these will occur less as she grows older. 

In all honesty, we're not really thinking about any of that yet. Right now we have a razor-sharp focus on the immediate, on today and perhaps tomorrow, but never too far ahead. There's a lot of anxiety and uncertainly when we look too far into the future, so it doesn't do us any good.

Who knows how things will look two weeks from now? Two months from now? Will there be anything else uncovered with Belle's condition? Will her bone and secondary DNA results show us anything new? Does she have any hearing loss? Or vision impairment? What will her development look like? 

We don't have concrete answers to any of those questions. The following pages of this book are yet to be written, and that's why it's important not to get too ahead of yourself. 

This experience has taught us to truly take things day by day. It's the only way to remain emotionally and mentally stable. But regardless of the unknown, Belle has definitely surprised us all. The issues we're dealing with right now are a blessing if you compare her to other preemies born at her size. It's remarkable. 

Every night my last thoughts circle around thanking God for this precious gift, and every morning I'm filled with a nervous excitement to go and see her. When I walk into that NICU room and I glance at her for the first time that day I'm amazed that she's real, that she's here. 

The fact that Arabella has gotten to this point is undeniably a miracle. I almost can't believe it.