Frequently asked questions

I thought a little FAQ would be a good idea to give people some insight into our life right now. Here are some questions I get asked sometimes. 

How is Kiera doing?
This is the number one question I get asked. How is mom feeling? The answer really depends on how Arabella is doing that day (or week), but overall Kiera's doing a lot better. She's been through a ton already in 2017. It's been an emotional roller-coaster. From having a complicated pregnancy and grieving the possible loss of Arabella, to excitement following her birth and recovering from the c-section, to being terrified for her baby's health amidst constant ups and downs. The first month was the toughest. It might be difficult to understand but Kiera felt like she was to blame for everything that had happened. It's common for moms to feel that it's their fault when their baby is born early (I researched everything I could about this). She felt responsible, even though we were thrilled to have Arabella with us. There were a lot of feelings of self-blame and it took her a while to let go of the guilt. Kiera eventually attended a few one-on-one counselling sessions in order to help her cope as well. Overall, I'm happy to say that Kiera's doing so much better now. 

Arabella looks so good, she should grow up fine, right?
I wish I could answer that question and tell you for certain. For the first few months it's impossible to tell which preemies will be fine and which will be affected by one kind of impairment or another. We still have a lot to learn about Arabella, so the impacts of her long-term health are hard to evaluate. We're obviously very hopeful, but the road of prematurity is a long and winding road. We walk one step at a time. 

What inspired you to start this blog?
When we kicked-off our fundraiser (to temporarily move closer to the hospital) I was amazed at the amount of support we received. It came rushing in, and it felt like everyone wanted to help. People were genuinely interested in Arabella's condition and I realized that I needed to give back to our supporters. We also wanted a way to connect with our family and friends. We decided this was the best way to keep everyone informed about our journey. It turned out that this blog made our lives easier too - less phone calls, emails and text messages to keep people in the loop. I post once and I instantly update everyone in one shot.

Do you ever feel like you're over-sharing Arabella's life?
Not really. I'm very much aware that once I hit 'publish' every photo and every word is out there, but I'm usually careful with what I write and post. There are a lot of things that happen around us (that go unmentioned for various reasons), but I try to be as open and honest as possible. I genuinely enjoy sharing our day to day experiences with everyone. 

How long are you typically at the hospital?
We spend around 7 to 9 hours a day at the hospital. It really comes down to how Arabella is doing that day and what sorts of things are going on. Believe me, it's easy to spend an entire day in the NICU. Between Kiera's pumping, doctors' rounds, check-ups, meetings, there's always something going on. We find that the bigger Arabella grows the more time we spend with her too. Belle's very active when she's not sleeping so there are a lot of opportunities to interact with her. Other days when she's resting for long periods of time we'll just sit and watch her sleep. Truthfully, it's really hard to leave her most evenings. 

Are you working right now?
Kiera stopped working around the time Arabella's condition worsened in the womb. Since February 17th (the day Belle was born) I haven't worked either, and we haven't seen a paycheque since then. We filed for employment insurance benefits called PCIC (parents of critically ill children) in early March, and we have yet to see a dime from the government. We should be receiving payments soon, though, for a maximum of 17 weeks (backdated) at 55% of our salaries. Once Arabella comes home Kiera's maternity leave will kick in at that point, and I'll take a few weeks off as well (either vacation days or paternity leave), eventually going back to work when we're all settled in. 

When do you plan on leaving the condo and moving back home?
We'll go home on May 31st. We can't afford to stay at the condo any longer but we're in a good position to return home finally. We've spent close to $10K renting here in the city. At the beginning of this journey the condo made the most sense. We desperately needed to be closer to Arabella and the condo was the best thing that could have happened. That's why we'll be forever grateful to everyone who supported us. You have no idea what a difference that has made. Knowing we were a 3 minute taxi ride to the hospital eased our fears and anxiety. Now that things are slowly starting to settle down we feel more comfortable going back home. Arabella will likely still be at Sick Kids, so we'll commute to the hospital daily for one large chunk of time rather than going back and forth two or three times from the condo. Besides, we'll need to slowly prepare our house for Arabella's eventual coming home, and we haven't purchased anything for her yet. No crib or stroller, no car seat, nothing. We've been a little preoccupied I suppose 😄

I hope that cleared up a few questions you might have been curious about. 

As always, thank you for following our journey! 

Picture above: A cold night at Nathan Phillips Square (a two minute walk from the condo). I love this city! 💙