Mixed emotions

"Researchers have found that most parents of preemies have regained their emotional balance by their baby's first birthday; a minority of them need longer but generally feel that their anxiety has finally subsided by the time their baby turns two."

Interesting...

Most of my tidbits throughout this blog are from a book called "Preemies - Second Edition: The Essential Guide for Parents of Premature Babies". It has been a great resource for me since day one 😊

Let's see what else it has to say...

"Some parents of preemies get worried by what they perceive as disturbing feelings in themselves, such as irrational fears, excessive protectiveness toward their baby, and a desire for isolation. If you respond like that, you're not unusual."

But there is good news...

"Over the next few months you will become gradually less distressed and more attentive and responsive to the rest of the world. You'll get back to your old emotional self..."

Those were excerpts from "Chapter 7: Finally taking your baby home". When Bella was in the NICU and I was reading those chapters (about life at home), it seemed like such a distant and far away place.

And now here we are...it's almost hard to believe. Home just feels so good 💗

For the most part, I think Kiera and I have done fairly well in managing our emotions. We're doing the absolute best we can. And coming out of our shell will take time. Let's face it. After some anxiety-filled days at the hospital, it's kind of hard to put it all behind us and pretend that Belle's just a regular baby. 

She looks like a regular baby. It's true. But her lungs and immune system are far from ordinary. 

She's had so many set-backs in the past, and we've seen how things can spiral out of control.

Sometimes it's just hard to ease the fears. We can't help it. And as we slowly enter cold and flu season (in October), we'll likely be even more paranoid and afraid.

At least we're aware of our behaviour, so we're definitely not in denial! 

Step one: Admission and acceptance.

Maybe there's a twelve step program that we can join? 

"Hi, my name is Dan and I'm a preemie parent...it's been 20 seconds since I last washed my hands..." 😄

Oh man.

We know that we can't be over-protective parents into the future. It's not good for Arabella's development. She needs confidence and encouragement from both mom and dad. It's something that Kiera and I will definitely have to work on as times goes by. But this whole 'adjusting to normal life' stuff isn't as easy as people might think. 

First of all, what's normal? 😛

Belle is still dealing with a lot of stuff, and we're still dealing with our own emotions. It's going to take a long time for us to loosen up...is all I'm saying 😊