Don't believe the hype

Sometimes she looks so serious.

And other times she's plain old goofy.

Whatever her demeanor, it's clear that she's got spunk. She's got style and charisma. There's a certain magnetism about her. 

There's something about Arabella 😉

She's seasoned. She's been around. Although she's still very tiny, she looks grown and mature, and perhaps that adds to her allure. 

She's roughly the size of a newborn, but she's a lot more primed. After all, she's had a long jump-start to life outside the womb. 

She's a little big girl 💗

She's done extremely well considering the odds against her, but she's had to sacrifice a lot, too. Arabella's learned early on that life isn't always fair. 

Instead of being born into a nurturing and calm experience, where you immediately bond both physically and emotionally with your parents, she was born into a traumatic environment. Arabella's first diagnosis was for respiratory distress syndrome. That was her welcome into the world. She took her first few breaths and began to struggle soon after.

Calm and nurturing? Far from it.

All of her past experiences make up her personality, and whether she's aware of it or not, those experiences will follow her into the future.

The studies out there will tell you that former preemies (especially those of low birth weight) are linked to a ton of health issues and withdrawn personality traits. As children and young adults they're more likely to be introverted, neurotic, and anxious. 

Huh.

Concerned parents of premature infants tend to be over-protective of their children throughout childhood, contributing to the child's tendency to avoid risk, and worry more. 

It goes on and on. 

Study after study is a harsh reminder that prematurity won't just go away with time. It tells us that we'll always be affected by this experience. 

But for some reason, we don't buy into it. We just don't believe the hype. 

Arabella's proven to us over and over that she's not your typical preemie. She doesn't appear withdrawn at all. Actually, it's quite the opposite. She's bold, engaging and sociable.

We're not concerned. 

We're ignoring everything that's out there, but at least we're aware. We know the statistics going against her. Then again, she's always had the statistics going against her. 

The long road of prematurity won't suddenly stop when we're discharged from the hospital. Challenges will always be there. 

It's true that she's come a long way to get here, but now that she's here she just needs to be treated like everyone else. That'll be the best thing for her, and for us, too. 

Arabella has been doing really amazing lately. She's developing and flourishing like a wild flower. A sensitive and delicate wild flower, but a wild flower nonetheless 😊

Point of interest

I'm continuing my series of close-ups on Belle 😃 

Dad's just having some fun, but it's easy playing photographer when you have such beautiful subject matter. 

Whether I'm a parent or photographer, there's really no difference between the two. The job outline reads the same for both...

"Arabella is your primary focus. She's your main point of interest. Now go and get the job done."

Sometimes a photographer has more than one point of interest 😉

Dad made her a new nest today. I called it 'the Ferrari of nests'. It's more cooler and sleeker than ever before 😊

My intention was to make it less bulky near the bottom, so that her legs can remain as straight as possible. It should mean less pressure on her stomach, and maybe it will help a bit with her reflux. 

We're trying all sorts of tricks.

I think she appreciated it. She spends a lot of time laying on her back and sides, so I really hope she's comfortable. 

She did look pretty comfy.

Kiera and I want to keep her upright as much as possible, but it's not easy. We're reluctant to pick her up or move her around for some time after her feed is complete. We obviously don't want to jostle her around and give her a reason to spit up. 

We know that she needs time to digest, so we let her lay and relax, but too much time on her back isn't great either. 

Everything is a game of balance. 

We're learning as she learns, and that's how things go for every parent, I suppose. We all progress together, and we all have to adjust accordingly. 

As parents to a former micro-preemie, we've had to adjust a lot of aspects of our lives. It hasn't been easy, but we've learned to adapt along the way. 

And we'll continue to adapt. 

Every parent has to be a chameleon. You have to blend in or risk getting left behind. 

It's one of the things I learned quickly here. As your little one grows older and changes, you need to grow too. You need to adjust so that you can better help them develop and flourish. 

It's a mutual growth.

And we're constantly trying to keep up with her...

She's so incredibly wonderful and charming 💗

Struggles with reflux

This little one had a rough start to her morning. 

It was the worst case of reflux we've ever seen from Belle. She even had milk coming out of her nose 😐

Kiera and I witnessed her spit-up plenty of times. It's nothing new. But this morning it looked like Belle was choking, and it scared us for a few seconds.

She was vomiting and heaving. It was intense. She couldn't even take a breath. Luckily she didn't turn colour, but her eyes were extremely red and teary. We placed her onto her side, and made sure she was breathing. We wiped her tears, cleaned her up, and consoled her. That's all one can really do.

Poor girl.

The rest of the day she was a little more cranky, so we made sure to be extra gentle and caring towards her. We tried not to overstimulate her either. We wanted her to rest and gather herself. 

Little ones like Belle get extremely full at the end of their feed. Sometimes they just can't contain the high amount of fluid. Other times they feel sick and nauseous, especially if they're backed up and don't poop regularly.

No one likes being stuffed like a duck. We would all be pretty frustrated, too. 

Since this morning, we've started to turn her onto her side, especially towards the end of a feed. Let's see if that helps her a bit. 

Reflux and pooping...these are just your average baby issues. Our struggles are very manageable right now, so we should celebrate that. 

Thank the Lord. Thank our lucky stars. 

Arabella is a 5 month old girl, in the body of a new born, dealing with mostly newborn issues, and a few extra problems that should all eventually fade away with time.

The road ahead looks so bright. Man, we are truly lucky to have the problems that we have 😊

Up close and personal

Zoom in. Sometimes you need to take a closer look...

There's nothing to hide when you get up close. Up close is authentic.

When you zoom in, you immediately isolate an area. The details emerge instantly, and they often tell an interesting story. Try it sometime with one of your favourite photos.

As a graphic designer, pictures and images have always played a big role in my life. 

A picture offers a beautiful and unique story, and this just happens to be another story about Belle.

I hope you guys are on wifi, or at least have a good data plan, because this is another day in pictures. Lots and lots of pictures 😁

7:00 AM
Belle had a good night. She only stirred occasionally. She slept through all of her night time feeds. Dad set them up and administered her meds and supplements.

7:30 AM
It's mom's turn to get up, and dad's turn to sleep. The night shift is complete. Dad gives mom the full update, and hits the pillow.

1:00 PM
Dad's up by now, still half asleep. He watches mom leave with Belle along with a few nurses for Belle's chest x-rays. 

1:10 PM
Arabella is placed into a contraption to keep her still. She cries and is frustrated. Mom does not enjoy any part of it. 

Such a strange device.

1:30 PM
All done. People in the hallway stare and watch Belle as she takes the trip back to her room. 

1:45 PM
Due to the tossing and jostling from the x-rays, Arabella throws up on her onesie, and demands a fresh outfit.

What Arabella wants, Arabella gets 😄

2:00 PM
Hanging out with mom and dad.

4:00 PM
Belle's visibly tired, and is in dire need of a nap.

4:15 PM
Arabella falls asleep.

5:00 PM
Nap time is over. Apparently, Belle wants to hang out with dad. Mom takes her afternoon nap now. 

5:15 PM
Arabella refuses to go back to sleep, so dad wheels the crib closer to the TV. Let's see if she likes this show...

Yup, she likes it. We continue to hang out. 

6:00 PM
She's finally sleeping again but it's time for her feed, and her vitals to be taken by the nurse. 

8:30 PM
After bath time, dad plays with her towels to make her look like a gnome. 

Dad loves having fun with Belle.

9:00 PM
Looking fresh, Belle's ready for another good night ahead.

10:00 PM
Dad takes his power nap before taking on the night shift again.

"Goodnight dad, I'll talk to you in the morning. Keep me company and hold me if I'm scared in the night."

12:00 AM
Dad's up for the night now. After getting a coffee, he situates himself into the chair next to Bella's crib.

6:00 AM
Bella had yet another great night. 
Zzzzzz
💜

A day in pictures: July 26

"Hold my hand. Stay for a while."

After sleeping soundly through most of the night, Arabella has stomach pains at 7am. She's absolutely full from her 6am feed. We use a hot pack to relax her tummy. 

Her heart rate hovers around 180+ bpm. The alarm starts going off. She's obviously working hard. She feels bloated, gassy, and cramped. She moans and cries for a short while. Belle is visibly frustrated and eventually tires out.

Mom is woken up by the beeps and dings. She gets up and takes over the reins. After being up all night, dad finally goes to bed. 

Dad's up again around noon.

Belle looks tired and worn out, but she has to be woken up and undressed for an echo scheduled for 1pm. 

"Whoa! What's this lady doing to me!?"

"And what's this slimy gel, exactly?"

The staff wanted to sedate Arabella for the echo. "No way", said mom (as politely as possible), "I don't feel comfortable with that. She just needs her soother, and her mom and dad by her side." 

Mom and dad always know best. And ain't that the truth?

There was absolutely no reason to sedate Arabella. She's a good girl, and we know that she can handle things like this without drugs or sedatives.  

The aftermath. 

Slouched at the edge of her nest. She was tired and looked defeated. 

The echo was scheduled to follow-up on her pulmonary hypertension. We'll find out in a few days if it has improved or not. If it has not improved, Arabella might need to go home on oxygen (when she's eventually discharged from the hospital). 

We'll wait and see. 

She was so drained. Everything takes a toll on her.

"Thanks mom. Thanks dad."

After the echo, Kiera and I changed her outfit and bed linens.

Now, let's have a fresh start to the day 😊

Good old tummy time. Or is it nap time?

"Dad, I'm tired. Please don't make me work, okay? I've had a rough morning."

"Now THIS I can work for!"

Belle takes 30mL from dad during her 3pm feed. Mom and dad are very proud.

The remaining 30mL go into a large syringe. A machine with an automatic timer slowly pushes the syringe, and the feed trickles through Belle's tube and into her stomach.

Belle seems calmer and more relaxed after this feed. She had a few poops earlier and seems to be handling the amount of food this time. 

Just chilling with her soother. 

She loves holding your finger.

Arabella appears to be okay, but she ends up throwing up some milk. The milk goes all over her onesie and onto the linens underneath.

Time for a quick wipe down and another outfit change. 

Belle thinks she's an actor and performer with the amount of outfit changes sometimes. 

"I just wanted this dress on all along, dad."