I'll finally be happy when...

Another precious day.

Arabella's blood sugar level is completely back to normal. Let's hope it stays that way. 

Today her magnesium was suddenly low and the nurses had to give her a quick concentrated dose to boost it. That resulted in Belle's blood pressure dropping for a while, but it eventually recovered. Yet another example of how one thing can affect another. 

Arabella receives 1000 IU of vitamin D daily to help strengthen her fragile bones. Typically, preemies get about 200 IU per day, but she requires a lot more due to her unique bone requirements. 

She really IS special! 😄

Little by little, Belle is gaining weight, and it's something I don't think too much about anymore. During the first month there was an obsession with numbers. Every gram seemed to matter, and her losing weight would give us anxiety. It felt like she couldn't afford to lose a single gram. 

I'm glad those days are over. 

There are 3 other babies in the room with Arabella, and they have all graduated to the crib stage. Some babies are learning to bottle feed, as they try to get the hang of the 'suck, swallow and breathe' combination while eating. It can be really tricky!

I'll be thrilled when Arabella reaches that stage too, but at the same time, I like where we are right now and I wouldn't want to speed up or fast-forward through any of it. 

Although sometimes overwhelming, I find myself wanting to slow down the time, if anything. This journey is teaching me how to approach every day of my life, how to deal with joy and stress, and how I should never take anything for granted. 

Celebrate today. We should be thankful for what we have right now. There will always be something new to chase tomorrow. 

Imagine for a moment that I was constantly looking towards Arabella's next achievement to give me some sort of relief or satisfaction. I've caught myself doing this countless times. Where will this sort of thinking take me?

"I'll finally be happy once Arabella has this surgery"

"I'll finally be happy once she's back home with us"

"I'll finally be happy when she's sleeping throughout the entire night"

"I'll finally be happy when she can eat solid food"

"I'll finally be happy when she's toilet-trained"

"I'll finally be happy when she can walk on her own"

"I'll finally be happy when she can go to school"

When...when will I really be happy? 

I must embrace and appreciate today. This is one of the important things that this experience has taught me.